He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
What drink are we having for lunch?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
