he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
