There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
