I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
