If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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