Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
