the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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