So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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