I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
