all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
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you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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