kristin has been a bad kristin
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
