I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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