You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
