Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
