my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize