Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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