Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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