We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
