There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
