dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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