She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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