hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
