The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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