So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
