Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
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Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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