You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You can't special order awesome
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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