Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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