a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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