I just threw up on my dentist
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dick very happy bro
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
