i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
