R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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