is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
