i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
