I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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