he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
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The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
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Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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