i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
