I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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