I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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