Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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