Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
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