I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
