Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
