tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just high enough for therapy.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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