I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize