i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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