I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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