True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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