talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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