I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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