so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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