ugly people sure do ruin things
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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