It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
