I think scott just propositioned me for sex
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
