Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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