I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
