I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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