Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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