I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize