I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
