woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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