It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
