6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
