i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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