I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
