There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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