Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize